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Minutes to look back

My name is Ngoc (Nguyen Thi Ngoc aka Hannah Nguyen. I am a Vietnamese born Australian based.

To my friends and many people who know me, I was born in an ordinary family but my parents never agree so. They said we weren’t born in an ordinary family but we were born in a poor and low class family. My grandparents were orphans. They were sold to a rich family as a maid and a servant when they were kids. In 1945, Vietnam gained total independence, people like my grandparents gained freedom too. They had a new life with lands given by government and started doing agriculture for living. My father went to army in 1976 for Vietnam-China border war. He got married with my mother after demobilised and they decided to start making rice noodles as a business, following my mother’s family tradition. After many years of savings and changing in careers, they eventually could afford to send me overseas for studying. Such a generation revolution and blessing my life is.

For people in my mother’s and my father’s generation, what would they wish for more but standard education, 3 meals per day and a home to come back, I understand but I couldn’t help wishing for more. This may sound weird and wild but I wished before I was thrown to life, I had learned more than Maths, Physics, Chemistry, Geography, History and General Ethics. I wished 12 years of my life would have filled more of interesting subjects like religions, self-development, arts, soft and hard skills insight-fully. Sometimes I wish we could bring back home-schooling culture. I like Confucius. Home-schooling allows one person to focus on learning and developing skills and areas they are interested. My mother said you are greedy. I don’t object but I don’t agree either.

I started working full-time and had some savings. I tried to catch-up missing in my childhood by exploring different exercises: Akido, Yoga, Gyms/personal trainer, Swimming, to hobbies like arts, crafts, travelling and gardening. I believe it’s better late than never. I am quite pleased with my lifestyle except my career.

I have a BA of Commerce majored in Accounting. I like maths because that is the subject I studied better than others at school. You may have a pleasant feelings when you do something you are good at. That’s exactly how I feel about maths and my current career. Though, the longer I work, the more I have to admit I am a genuine Gemini by nature, born in June & B+. My current career doesn’t seem to match with natural-born characters. Should I change? My parents said “no, you would lose income”. But I still secretly look for an answer myself.

I constantly fill in my head more and more information and knowledge about different jobs, products, business plans and want to try. At the same time, I obey my parents and am afraid of giving up rewards from a long-experienced job.

Can someone do 2 at the same time? I got overwhelmed and lost.

Someone may yell at me now “damn, you’re farking greedy and coward. Just do one or the another. Make a choice or you will ruin everything.”

I had so much fun confessing my greediness to my friends during a cafe today. All of a sudden, a thought brought me back to my original dream, before all of these chaos. I am a girl, I sound ambitious. It is true. I have been, because I wanted to help myself, then my family and bigger, I want to open my own charity. Deep down, another side of me, I want to be a normal woman, not a forefront role. I want to get married, be a support for my man and family, keep my home warm and full of love, joy and laughter. I realised that before any business plans, I need to find the other half of me first so that he can help me to fulfill the role of born-a-woman. We together will be stronger and able to do more.

What a day! The hardest question = the simplest answer (Y)

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